Downer

This is definitely a downer post, so if you are in a great mood that you don't want ruined don't read on. Consider the preceding sentence your warning.

I have no job...I busted my ass to do well in school, busted my ass to pass boards less then a month after graduating and I have no job. I sit at home all day. I emailed the nurse recruiter from Shands who told me that they aren't looking to hire any more new nurses because they are flooded with graduate nurses--basically I'm f-ed. I applied to every single RN position at Shands (with the exception to psychiatry) and the other hospital in town and I haven't even gotten a call to come in for an interview.

Now my mom wants me to apply to jobs back home. She feels confident that since she has worked in the Broward Health System for 30 years that she should be able to find someone willing to hire me as a new nurse. I applied for a job in the PICU at her current hospital. I don't want to move back home, not at all. Moving back home would mean that Super gets sent to Gail's house and all my cats would stay home and have someone periodically come by to feed them and scoop their boxes. Moving back home would suck. I own a home in Gainesville, I love my home, I love my town, I love(d) my life.

To top all of this off, Phillip still has yet to get a job in Gainesville. No one wants to hire him (it probably doesn't help that his degree is in Marketing and that is basically useless in Gainesville). Him not getting a job means he is still stuck at his current job that he could have done in high school, he is miserable as well. He also moved into his sister's house on Saturday this past week, he decided that it would be more economical to move in with her since he is looking to move to Gainesville then it would to rent his piece of crap apartment month to month for something near $900 a month. Now in the evening he is hanging out with his sister and nephew and told me tonight it is rude for him to talk to me which would mean he is ignoring them. Great.

I really thought that since Phillip and I made it through all this crap with his Dad dying and came out stronger then we would be in the clear for challenges at least for a little while. Clearly, I was wrong. Clearly I've pissed off God because my Karma is shit lately--I don't know why, I wish I could do something to fix it.

I am so sick of waking up to nothing, I am sick of coming home to nothing, I hate this. I just don't know why someone isn't willing to give me a chance, I swear I'd be a good nurse, I just need someone to have faith in me. I am smart and a great learner, I promise if someone gives me a chance I wont let them down.